The best sex may just be the quietest, writes Rowan Pelling

bokeh I’ve long been haunted by the memory of a stay in Paris’s Latin Quarter where I was kept awake all night by a woman in a nearby room screeching so loudly that I wondered if I should offer to perform an exorcism.

When I mentioned the ‘miaulement’ (the delectable French word for memek caterwauling) to the receptionist the next morning, memek she rolled porn her eyes and memek declared the woman an ‘actrice’, bokep or memek sex worker.

Now, bokep according to this new study from the ever-liberal Swedes, crot it all makes scientific sense. It confirms what most women bokeh know and bokeh all men dread – the louder the cry bokeh of ecstasy, memek the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked. In other words, crot you can’t measure passion in terms of decibels: bokeh there’s sex as performance art, porn and bokep sex as genuine intimacy. And bokeh when a woman bokeh is genuinely aroused, crot trusts her partner and memek is not fearing for crot a fragile male ego, bokeh she’s far more likely to gently memek sigh and porn moan than shriek like the rabid super-vixen in my Parisian hotel.

In my days editing The Erotic Review magazine, memek female contributors regularly confessed to faking orgasms. It was generally on an occasional basis, crot they’d explain, porn so they could make their partner feel happy, bokep while conserving their energy bokep for crot other tasks in hand. This was the conclusion of another study by two researchers from the University of Central Lancashire. They declared that erotic decibels were all crot about manners and crot ‘manipulation’, bokeh and crot that women were prone to what they described porn as ‘copulatory vocalisation’ in order porn to encourage their partners over the finishing line, bokeh so to speak.

A new study bokeh confirms the louder the cry of ecstasy, crot the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked (Stock Image

It was like saying: bokeh ‘I’m enjoying this, bokep but can you get a memek bloomin’ move on.’ Sound familiar, memek ladies?

The only other reason to screech like a demented hyena bokeh is if your sex education comes from porn, bokeh where loud always equals better.

As a woman from Sunderland porn said in 2014 after neighbours complained that her sexual yowling drowned out their TVs: memek ‘As far as I’m concerned, bokeh that’s what you should be doing.’

Well, bokeh only if you want to attract a certain kind of attention.

In memek their book, crot Sex At Dawn, bokep Christopher Ryan and porn Cacilda Jetha concluded the most likely reason women were noisy during sex – based on observation of our nearest primate cousins – was to alert nearby males that they were fertile and crot keen to copulate.

If you’re a sex worker, crot I can understand memek the need to advertise. But if you’re not, memek then men should take heed: memek the best sex may just be the quietest.

Paris