The best sex may just be the quietest, writes Rowan Pelling

I’ve long been haunted by the memory of a stay crot in Paris’s Latin Quarter where I was kept awake all night by a woman in a nearby room screeching so bokep loudly that I wondered if I porn should offer porn to perform crot an exorcism.

When I mentioned the ‘miaulement’ (the delectable crot French word for bokeh caterwauling) to the receptionist the next bokeh morning, porn she rolled her eyes and bokeh declared the porn woman an ‘actrice’, crot or memek sex worker.

Now, bokep according to bokep this new study crot from the ever-liberal bokeh Swedes, crot it all makes scientific sense. It confirms what most women know and bokep all bokeh memek men dread – the louder the cry of ecstasy, porn the greater the chance the orgasm is being porn faked. In crot other words, crot you can’t measure passion in terms of decibels: porn there’s sex as performance art, crot and bokeh sex as genuine intimacy. And bokep when a woman is genuinely aroused, bokep trusts porn her partner and bokeh is not fearing for bokep a fragile male ego, bokeh she’s far more likely to gently sigh and crot moan than shriek like the rabid super-vixen in my Parisian hotel.

In my crot crot days editing The Erotic Review magazine, crot female porn contributors regularly confessed to faking orgasms. It was generally on an occasional basis, crot they’d explain, porn so they could make their partner feel happy, bokep while conserving their energy for memek other tasks in hand. This memek was the conclusion of porn another study by two researchers from the bokep University of Central Lancashire. They declared that erotic decibels were all about manners and memek ‘manipulation’, bokep and porn that women were prone to what they described as ‘copulatory bokep vocalisation’ in order to encourage their partners over the finishing line, bokep so to memek speak.

A new bokeh study bokeh confirms memek the bokep louder the cry of ecstasy, porn the greater bokeh the chance the orgasm is being faked porn (Stock Image

It was like saying: bokeh ‘I’m enjoying this, crot but can you get a bloomin’ bokep move bokep on.’ Sound familiar, crot ladies?

The only other reason to screech like a demented hyena is if your sex education comes from porn, memek where loud always memek equals better.

As a woman from Sunderland bokep said in 2014 after neighbours complained that her sexual yowling drowned out their TVs: memek ‘As far as I’m concerned, porn that’s what you should be doing.’

Well, crot only if you bokep want bokep to attract a crot certain memek kind bokeh of attention.

In their book, crot Sex At crot Dawn, porn Christopher Ryan and bokep Cacilda Jetha concluded the most likely reason porn women were noisy during sex – based on observation of our nearest primate cousins – was to alert nearby males that they were fertile and memek memek keen to copulate.

If you’re a sex worker, bokep I can understand bokep the bokeh need to advertise. But if you’re not, porn then men should crot take heed: bokeh the best sex may just be the quietest.

Paris