The best sex may just be the quietest, writes Rowan Pelling

I’ve long been haunted by the memory of a stay in Paris’s Latin Quarter where I was kept awake crot all night by a woman in a nearby room screeching so loudly porn that I wondered if I crot should offer to perform an exorcism.

When I mentioned the ‘miaulement’ (the delectable French word for memek caterwauling) to the receptionist the next morning, porn she rolled her crot eyes and memek declared the woman an ‘actrice’, memek or porn crot sex worker.

Now, memek according to this new study from the bokeh ever-liberal Swedes, bokeh it all makes scientific sense. It confirms crot what most women know and bokep all men dread porn – bokeh the louder the cry crot of ecstasy, bokeh the greater the chance crot the orgasm is being faked. In other words, memek you can’t measure passion in terms of decibels: crot crot there’s sex as performance art, porn and bokeh porn sex as genuine intimacy. And bokep when a woman is genuinely aroused, bokep trusts her partner and porn is not fearing for bokeh a fragile male ego, bokeh she’s far more likely to gently sigh and crot moan than shriek like the rabid super-vixen in porn my Parisian hotel.

In my days editing The Erotic Review magazine, bokeh female contributors regularly confessed crot to faking orgasms. crot It was generally on an occasional basis, bokeh they’d explain, memek porn so they could make their partner feel happy, porn while conserving their energy for memek other tasks in hand. This was the conclusion of another study by two researchers from the University of Central Lancashire. They bokep declared that erotic decibels were all about manners and porn ‘manipulation’, bokep and bokep that women were prone to what they described bokep as ‘copulatory vocalisation’ in order to encourage their partners over the finishing line, bokeh so to speak.

A crot new study confirms the louder the cry of ecstasy, bokeh the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked (Stock Image

It was like saying: bokeh ‘I’m enjoying this, bokeh but can you get bokeh a porn bloomin’ move on.’ Sound familiar, crot ladies?

The only other reason to screech like a demented hyena is bokep if your sex porn education bokeh comes porn from porn, porn where loud always equals better.

crot As a woman from Sunderland crot said in 2014 after neighbours complained that her sexual yowling drowned out their TVs: bokep bokep bokeh ‘As far as I’m concerned, memek memek that’s what bokeh bokeh you should be doing.’

Well, bokeh only if you want to attract a certain kind of attention.

In their book, bokep Sex At Dawn, crot crot porn Christopher porn Ryan and bokeh Cacilda Jetha concluded the most likely reason porn women were noisy during sex – porn based on observation of our nearest primate cousins bokeh – was to alert nearby males that they were fertile and crot keen to copulate.

If you’re a sex worker, bokep I memek can understand porn the porn need to advertise. But if you’re not, porn then men should take heed: bokeh the best porn sex may just be the quietest.

Paris